I awoke with contradictions running through my mind, and I didn’t know which one to wander down.
One was about a love I found long ago. A love that was discovered as a kid. One that has been brought through the rubble, and taken multiple punches, and is fragile on it’s best day. There is something to be said about going through life with that kind of love. But, oh how much those two have changed.
The other is about a new love. One that hasn’t been discovered yet. The one that keeps promising you things will be better, things will be different. But how can you know something like that is real, when you’ve never experienced anything like it before?
And so my mind keeps spinning a web of uncertainty of where it needs to go, and I keep struggling for any kind of direction. Because I’ve never been here before. I thought I had it figured out. I thought I had beat the odds, and found something real a long time ago. Not to say that anything is less real, but rather, I’m inquiring if the real we found long ago, was meant for something so long, and so brief as a lifetime.
That’s where I’m finding myself after waking with a head full of contradictions.